actually, it’s been more than a month. this isn’t going to be witty or intelligent but it’s my blog and i get to do what i want and right now i want to complain about my problems. or, at the very least, air them on the internet in a mildy humorous manner so as to make myself feel just a little bit better.

1. every time i get a text from my credit card company telling me what i owe them, i think “BALLS.” which is a bad sign because i never even go “balls.” lower case. europe’s like the one prostitute that you can’t stop going back to because it’s too expensive and you know it’s just wrong to spend money on something like this, but it’s so good that you can’t stop.
2. i have to go back to school and buy textbooks and i’ve gotten emails from professors. emails. from professors. i haven’t even gone to school yet. why are you telling me to do things?
3. i’m unemployed. and i get texts from my credit card company every morning. i could stop those texts but then i would move into a very dangerous state of denial. i have issues, but at least i’m managing them honestly, alright?

balls.

if you’re reading this and have been waiting for me to actually blog or post pictures or something you don’t know that i’m the laziest person on the face of the earth. i’m in another country, yes, but it doesn’t make me any less lazy. it just makes me lazy in another country.

but here i am. blogging. and you’re on the edge of your seat waiting for me to tell you about my awesome new English accent or my favorite London landmark. the edge of your seat is a bad place to be. scoot back a little. get comfortable. because i’m going to regale you with a story…

…about none of those things.

instead i’m going to tell you how much i hate insects. and i really hate flying insects. and at Middlesex University-Trent Park there are many of them. and they all fly into my room. my room is insect mecca. i think my light fixture may have been the site of a small insect cage match. i have hosted five moths, several flies, eight (eight. Eight.) wasps, and what appeared to be a small relative of some sort of roach in my room.

BUT NO MORE. no more shall wasps lounge in my light fixture. no more shall moths meet the underside of my slipper. no more shall i have to endure a stuffy room with a closed window for fear of flying roommates. i have a window screen. yes, that’s right. i tugged on the umbilical cord and my parents sent me a square yard of window screen. it has been cut to size, taped to my window frame (which i’m sure is probably grounds for some sort of fine or cease and desist from the university), and i am happily enjoying the London air.

happy birthday, indeed.